Early on in Basic Combat Training, My Drill Sargents had a favorite saying for when a trainee did Not answer a simple yes OR No question. “Yes, Drill Sargent? No, Drill Sargent. Fuck you, Drill Sargent !?!” To simply drive the point home on how much they wanted an answer.

Well one day, my back was on fire and I desperately needed a pop. I asked a drill sergeant of another platoon for advice on how to pop my back, as NONE of my drill sergeants were available for chatting. He gave me good advice. The Next day, when my drill Sargents were back, They heard that I sought another platoon Sargent for help and they decided to punish the whole bay for my Need of advice. The drill sergeant in charge of the “corrective training” made a point of saying, "Do Not ask other platoon sergeants for advice. That made me think that he had taken what I had done personally. Now we were getting smoked quite hard. I had a literal pool of sweat underneth me. So I said the words that would almost certainly be a black mark for the rest of my military Career. 

“FUCK YOU, DRILL SARGENT!” I said it loud and proud and in front of my comrades, Drill Sargent and Commanding Officer. One of my battle buddies tried to redirect the drill sergeant when he asked me what I said. I doubled down instead and said it again “FUCK YOU, DRILL SARGENT!”

The Drill Sargent was speechless. The Commanding Officer was speechless. All my fellow trainees were speechless. I admit, I do have a bit of a short fuse when it comes to my personal issues, my weight and bodily functions being high on that list. I got. I was told to apologize to the drill sergeant and write a five hundred word essay about why drill sergeants are needed in an army, In alternating red and blue ink. Easy enough. I like to write, and as soon as I calmed down, three days later, I apologized.

What I did not foresee was the unintended consequences. I became something of an urban legend and myth. A trainee that cussed out a drill sergeant and lived. The whole company began to talk about it. In a way I became the first company story. The gossip raged around me for at least two weeks, then petered out as new company stories came out. Drill sergeants stopped saying the third part of their yes/no question and some things became less volatile.

Then the last week of AIT came round with the warrior’s dinner. A relaxing dinner where we trainees could eat as much as we wanted, as sweet, as meaty, as unhealthy. It truly was a time to cut loose and relax for an hour. The Drill Sargents shouted a lot in good fun. Everybody ate too much and a modest Round of Roasting took place. Everybody made impressions. of the Drill Sargents, Everyone that watched laughed, especially the Drill Sargents as they saw each other’s likenesses in the students that they had taught. I took center stage and in fifteen words got every trainee in the company to say what had made me a legend. 

“Privates! You will answer my question. Yes, Drill Sargent? No, Drill Sargent?…”

and with a flourish of both hands everyone except Me said “FUCK YOU DRILL SARGENT!” Everybody, Trainees, Drill Sergeants and Officers laughed with Mirth.

Not me though, I learned my lesson.