Now you may consider this tale to be considered nuts, for often people do when I tell it towards guests at dinner parties. The revel and revolt with the revelation that the story has after dinner. Few ever realize the part of dinner that makes the whole feast worth the time it makes to prepare it all.

Anyway I am starting at the end, aren’t I? Let us say,  for sake of conversation, that I have just hosted you for an exquisite beef filet cook to perfection to where the beef slides down your palate and leaves your hungry stomach begging for more. This meat is served with mashed potatoes and homemade gravy. With a salad on the side topped with another homemade item, balsamic vinegar. 

Oh yes, this is a meal to treasure, for my kitchen has been the envy of many five-star chefs. My kitchen crew know their roles well and know that I do not tolerate mistakes or indecision. Every meal is perfect and cooked without error. 

This meal pairs well with Cabernet Sauvignon, only seven years old. The wine is uncorked thirty minutes before dinner is served. Plenty of time to breathe and relax. 

So you’ve eaten and dined. You are feeling full and wanting more. Tiramisu pairs with coffee and cream. This sweet, cold dessert allows the eater to be awakened and allows the digestion process to relax and become more thorough, allowing the meat to become better absorbed into the digestive tract.

Now you may say that that dinner sound simply sublime, with that I agree. My kitchen staff, however, thought that the meat looked odd. That is the whole reason that I am sitting here, isn’t it detectives? One of my staff snuck into the meat locker after dinner was over, while I was entertaining in the smoking lounge.

My smoking lounge was another one of my prides and joys. The lounge can comfortably seat thirty people. There is brandy and port locked in the cabinets. Whiskey is available for those that simply need a sip. There are couches and sofas. I had the walls soundproofed so that the party could get as loud as a college frat party and the mice in the hallway wouldn’t even notice. It is often the whiskey that gets drunk first as it is not locked up. 

Now, I assume that your criminal investigation section have already stripped my house, that is why I am handcuffed to the table. Yes, the drinks were drugged with a heavy paralytic, the venom from a blowfish is very good for this. The drinker was awake and alive just unable to move. 

I see that you have my axe in the corner wrapped in a plastic bag. Yes, I enjoyed chopping up the indulviduals. The people that I had forged relationships over the course of a year. I chopped them up and killed them for they are nothing more than cattle in my eyes.

Yes, I can see in your eyes that you want to vomit. Go ahead. It is nothing that I haven’t seen before. 

I imagine that you might be wondering why their guts were also opened up? I’ll tell you. The beef filets were so good that night that I simply had to try it again. Beef is good, having it a second time is simply the best.

The kitchen staff I imagine found the the prepared meat from the meat locker. Most of of the that calf donated itself to feed my other cows. It should be the children that feed the elderly don’t you think?