Have you heard the tale of Kanis the King?

It is not a tale for the faint of heart,

Nor for those that are tricked easily,

Kanis was a good king,

For his people were always well fed,

Their supplies and treasures seemed to be unending,

For they would go to war and plunder,

They would take treasures of such wealth,

That Kanis’ hall would glow golden,

From a single torch.

The guards fiercely patrolled the horde of wealth,

There was not a soldier standing that had not done battle,

There was not a captain that had not commanded,

These were the most determined of warriors,

For every month,

The king would lend his chef to the soldiers,

And they would eat as the king.

But it was not the wars of the king,

That kept the people fat,

Nay this was do to his brother,

The royal chef,

For it was he that cooked for the court of the king,

It was he that kept food in the king’s belly,

And pigs in the people’s,

His cookbook had all sorts of recipes,

It was said that his garden had the richest of spices,

From ocean seaweed,

To desert peppers,

Rich salt,

Sweet sugar,

Nothing was left out of this delicious bounty.

Have you heard the tale of Kanis the King?

Have you sought after his treasures?

Have you looked for the sacred cookbook?

The one that kept an entire kingdom fed.

Do you know why the kingdom failed?

I shall tell you.

Far beyond the hills, forests and mountains lies a land full of rivers and rolling grass. This is the land of Kanis. This is a cursed land. It is inhospitable to all men, animals, and harvest goods. Though it was not always this way. The tale above was to tell the story of the golden age of Kanis. But such a star even has a dark side when exposed to a brighter source. 

Though the king and his court and soldiers determined the wealth of the land, it was not theirs to have. The chef, the king’s brother, he was the reason for the curse. His food and the way he prepared it was the reason that the green grass choked off the harvest. It was God’s retribution for that evils that were committed. 

The paradise that existed, the thousands that lived there, it was all a lie. For it was the cookbook that made the lie exist, never had such an evil ever existed in such a peaceful land. This was as if someone try to burn down the garden of Eden with a flamethrower. Such an evil this literature was.

At first the kingdom started off as nothing more than a peaceful village. Full of life and always striving for the next day, week, month, and year. Until one such summer when famine hit. Fields and forest were burnt down with wild fires. Bandits came searching for their next meal. Little did those bandits understand the resolve of the townspeople. A resolve that had been harden by a hunger of many months. An evil had been brought unto the peaceful valley. It started with the screams of men as they were eaten alive. They were made prisoners and eaten one at a time. They were made to watch as their comrades were butchered right in front of them. They lost hope as they watched their leader get eviscerated with a rusty blade. However, once they smelled the cooked flesh, even their mouths began to water and drool. The inviting smell and welcoming meat began to fill the empty bellies. 

The first village grew and expanded and filled the valley. The Feast of Summer Harvest became something of a holiday and is well remembered. Though as they grow so does their culture. Never would you have found a more welcoming people in those days. Days of yore. They were measuring all visitors with their eyes. They shook their hands and embraced them as to find the most succulent specimens. What a terror these were to ignorant visitors. If any came into this den of lions, as big as a bear and as husky as a cow: Beware!

The kingdom fought in wars and gained monetary wealth as well as culture wealth. Their first city became a place of a wanton to visit upon. Their royal castle became a place of beauty and glory. But their dungeons are the places that one should avoid going into. There have been many prisoners, but none have ever left.

Have you heard of Kanis the Cannibal King?

No, it’s not surprising; for most curses are kept secret.