This week has been an interesting one to say the least. This whole experience has been a genius moment in my life, and one that has made me wiser for it.

I am an empathetic writer as some know. That means I feel the emotions of the characters that I write for. I place myself in their situations, and write what I think that they are feeling.

To those that don’t know, I recently, April 2nd 2019, wrote a short story about a new father losing his son to SIDS. As I wrote it I had to back away several times to tell myself that it wasn’t real. To me it felt real.

And I wondered why I wrote this story. Why did I go back to finish the story so many times. The picture wasn’t clear to me at the time.

Roll around to April 4th. That Thursday night, I went to a bible study. There where studied the apologetics of scripture. The story was about the a man who lost his mother some ten years prior. Now it may have been due to the speaker or just the lack of effort but the story felt very unlikely. Very staged, unreal and fake. I spoke very little during that night. I wanted to read my story out loud to the group, but the pain was still too real for me, too close. The very thought of the teddy bear still makes tears well up in me.

Throughout Friday and Saturday I tried my best to cut myself off from emotions. To hide from the world, and I felt more alone in the later half of Saturday than ever. I watched all three seasons of Overlord simply to get out of my own head.

Then Sunday came round and something awesome happened. It was as if a veil had been lifted. My mouth opened and I helped someone. And I helped myself to move forward yet again.

“Trust that God has a plan and have faith that He knows what He is doing.”

I have taken this past week as a trial. Preparing for what may come. God knows my life more than I do and He does not give me more than I can handle, I trust in Him more than myself.

God be with you this week.